Xaarness (to borrow from Somali)

I thought I’d go on an adventure to ChinaTown Centre at Spadina and Dundas. There is a screen on the wall outside, broadcasting CCTV news mimicking the attractive screens a couple of blocks east at Dundas and Younge.

So I thought, what the heck, I’ve done Laredo, I can do China town.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (loud buzzing sound)

WRONG!

First of all I get deceived by the brilliant sunshine outside. So I’m thinking… two layers will be appropriate.

Beautiful sky! Don't be deceived!!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (loud buzzing sound)

WRONG!

Other people are walking around, in fact the streets are filled with people wearing all manner of clothing and yet here I was, walking in the freezing wind, each individual fat cell coagulating in my thighs making my skin hurt.

One of the blah streets in between King and Front.

Before I got to Queen Street (Bremner, Front, Blah, King, Richmond, Blah, Queen… going North on Spadina) I determined that my body needed a little break so I snuck into this art store. The attendants were haughty and even though I saw a pretty spectacular display of paints on sale I thought hack-thpuuu I know I have only pennies, BUTCHA AIN’T GETTING THEM!

Cussing them under my breath and putting a hex on the store, and because the fat cells had melted, I ventured out into the freezing cold once more. Looking up I could see the side of the screen against the Chinatown Center and focusing my gaze on it and the wonderful warmth I’d find inside, I forced my legs to move and almost ran all the way there!!!

Chinatown Center… aaaaaaaaahhhh what an experience! There truly doesn’t seem to be a way to describe it but I will attempt to.

The first word that comes to mind when you enter is deception. Even though the screen outside beckons, quietly urging you inside, the promise of all kinds of cheap goods inside, the experience is quite different.

Right at the entrance to the interior is a short woman who GLARES at you while she arranges her flower pots very close to the door. There is about 1.5 feet between her orchids and the front door, and you have to do the 1,2-step in order to avoid them! all over the floor are tables of people selling THE SAME SHIT. Red hangy thingies with red tassels on them and fake jewelery winking deceptively at you. A smell you can’t really place slowly becomes over whelming and you suddenly realize you’re Gulliver in Liliput, except the little people are all asian and they’re looking at you hatefully.

So I walked around all nonchalant pretending I really had business in there of course I didn’t touch their shit and walked around, stepped on a flower and then left. All in all I must have spent 4 minutes in there gathering all the disdain I felt and showing it in my eyes for everyone who looked at me with hate.

The cold air hit me with a thousand little freeze arrows when I stepped outside. It was so cold and I was feeling slightly tired which fueled the decision to ride the street car that took FOREVER to get to the stop. Finally when it got there, this little chinese man PUSHED me aside to run into the street car then took 1,212 years paying his fare.

On the way back to my warm humble abode I remembered I needed some vanilla for my oh so awesome birthday cake! I’d seen a grocery store called Fresh and Wild Grocery store at the intersection of Spadina Ave. and King St. So I hopped off the street car and rushed into the store, whose beautiful displays of fresh produce seduced your mind with promises of juicy sweetness.  It seemed to be a small grocery store, which it was, but the organization was pretty convoluted with hallways as complex as the path of small intestines. All sorts of nooks and crannies were used to set up the space and the owner walked around in a white shirt, following me, making sure I did’t pocket anything. $2.99 later and vanilla in hand I decided to wait for the street car again.

The building in which I live was just one more block south so I thought I should brave it and run home, but on the way I was struck by a number of things:-

Montage-cicles

1. If you see ice coming out of a building that is being constructed and it’s left to stay ice for a while, what do you think it means for the structural integrity of the glass facade and the concrete floors?

WATCH OUT! Alien plastic bag landing...

2. What do you call it when a nasty plastic bag comes off of a building you’re constructing, flies through the air and lands on your presentation building sullying it up?

Houston? We have a problem in Toronto.

Well, I’m home now. Fat is all thawed and body is all warm and a super chocolately smelling cake is baking in my oven.

Would you like a piece?