I love theatre and the arts. There was a time I thought I might delve into that World, but after taking a class with an actor whose skills are better than the host of mediocre actors in Hollywood, I thought I’d put my skills to better use. I locked them in a case that I only take out when I’m playing pranks on BFF.

Today, on my way back from grocery shopping I got on the subway and there were all these people on there dancing. They had their mp3 players and ipod on and were just dancing their hearts out using whatever style they wanted and a HUGE smile broke out on my face. Of course i couldn’t sit down coz of the dancers, but I remember what it was like being young, and since every single car on the subway had dancing people, I thought it had to have been organized by someone. I had India.Arie in my ear singing Chocolate High, which isn’t easy to dance to. Not like some of the jumping dancers… tee hee!

However, because I was smiling, this young guy comes up, urges me to put my shopping bags down and grove with him on the subway. I took out my earphones coz his music wasn’t at the same beat as mine and I wanted to match him move for move! Hehehehe! It was only 3 subway stops and you could see all the old geezers getting irritated (which is always fun) and I got off and wished them a lovely day!

So I got home and just had to find out what the hell had just happened! Apparently there is something called Improv Everywhere, where people pull harmless pranks in Urbania. You just have to be on the mailing list or something in order to participate in pulling the pranks!

Here are a couple of the ones they’ve done.

The Eaton Center Freeze

This was the first one they did and it was in the busiest shopping center in Trrrronoh where people who worship shopping and money go to practice their religion. Hehehe! It freaked out the guards seeing so many people just coming to a complete halt in the middle of the shopping center. Others criticized it instead of seeing the fun in it. Ah well…

April Fools Itch

People got together downtown and pretended to be itching. The most interesting part is watching other people’s reactions.

There was the MP3 experiment that is hilarious to watch.

The protest for Dinosaur rights!

A fake finish line where they’d set up infront of some random person and cheer them on. Tee hee! I’d have made a run for the finish line. I hope they had medals for 1st position. Otherwise, what is the motivation! Hehehe!

Pantless Subway Ride

A weird one is the pantless subway ride, where you took off your pants. It’s a little yukky considering all the dirty underwear that must have come out, BUT still very interesting. I wonder how this would work in Kampala.

I’m sure there will soon be videos on YouTube with silent dance party soon, so be sure to check it out!

I wished I was  15 again and on the subway with some friends, I think our group could have had fun doing some improv things like this in our hey day.

But now it’s snowing again and I have to figure out how I’m going to wear my hair for tonight’s event! I’m looking forward to it and dragging a very willing BFF’s brother there with me!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Addendum: On the subway there was a girl who was wearing Hammer pants and danced her heart out. While I was at the poetry slam I recognized her pants and bag and went over to give her a great big ol’ hug. Her name is Laura! It was such a pleasure to meet her!!! Yay! Trrrronoh is da bomb!

The snow has melted!! YAY!

I don’t have a working camera anymore!!! BOO!

I found some really fun YouTube videos!!! YAY!

They’re not about Toronto!! BOO!

I have a new couch, courtesy of  my big little brother!!! YAY!

I thought I’d share some odd pictures from around my apartment with you.

My bathroom sink

I’m trying to add some kind of modern ecclectic touch to my bathroom. A couple of weeks ago I visited the local dollar store (where everything costs $1 or less) and purchased stones, the round thingy and the bottle thingy, some plastic flowers and the floor mat. I’m not too crazy about fluffy bath mats.

From my balcony

One of the views from my balcony. It’s very pretty and I’m lucky to have such a spectacular view!

Kitchen

Do not be deceived by the look. The living room, dinning room and kitchen are one and the same!!! I have to say I really love the brand new appliances!

FINALLY!

Fridge

I know y’all wonder what I eat! These don’t change very much from one week to another!!!

I promise I’ll be back with more interesting tidbits from Toronto!

I leave you with this video brought to you from Arlan’s YouTube website.

Monuments and sculptures are meant to convey a certain message or allow us remember those for whom the monument has been set up. There is one that I see every day.

Monument dedicated to builders of the railway.

Other view

But apparently there is an issue with respect and memory.

People regularly take their dogs to the little park where this memorial has been installed and you can hardly walk around for the amount of pee and poop there.

IKKK!

Don’t have cable. Haven’t missed it coz I’m OD-ing on all 10 seasons of Stargate SG-1 my favorite show!

For all the non-nerds, Stargate SG-1 chronicles the adventures of a team of interplanetary explorers who travel million of light years through the universe to other planets by means of a Stargate. It creates a wormhole between two Stargates and allows matter to pass through and be reintegrated on the other side.

Wormhole being established in the gate on Caledonia.

The event horizon of the wormhole

I’m no physicist, just a lowly engineer BUT even though the means of transportation between two worlds millions of light years away seems implausible, I love the idea that other forms of life exist on other planets.

Ah SG-1 thank you for hours and hours of entertainment! And thank you Teal’c for using the word indeed so often I have no choice but use it myself!

————–

I went to the Eaton center today to get some cardio and put my camera in my pocket in order to capture my adventure.

In the last couple of years I have become irritated everytime I’m assaulted with loud obnixious and unimaginative advertising. We’re no longer allowed to get away from it because the decibel level is increased just in case you walk away from your TV to go to the potty. DVR is the way to go and there is no other way I’ll ever get cable. Grrrr. I also don’t appreciate useless celebrities and the minutiae of their lives being thrown at me wherever I go. I DON’T CARE! But I’m sure others do, and to each their own, eh?

Okay. Here goes.

Old Navy Ad

… coz how will you walk, run and yoga without Old Navy?

For real?

Do they really want to hire someone coz this was in the dark right on the floor. I doubt many people see it!

Hmmmm....

Man boobs and crotch? As I was taking this picture someone came up to me to tell me I couldn’t take pictures infront of their store. I asked her why and she said it was store policy because I might try to copy their clothes or the front of their store. Obviously no one has taught her or their management any critical thinking skills because if that was my interest I wouldn’t be taking a picture of a 1/2 dressed mannequin. They should have a website, no? I could just go there. Better yet, I could purchase one, take it with me, copy it and then return it for a full refund in 30 days. Anybody going to Oz? You could take the girl!

Guitar Hero

So I lumbered off to the fun store, leaving old McGrouch and her ugly jeans (tee hee… never really saw her jeans) and looked at electronic devices. Right at the door there were two kids playing Guitar Hero. I’ve been curious about it but never enough to purchase it or play it or research it. So it was fun watching some people play.

B-A-N-A-N-A!

I passed by an interesting smoothie stand that probably goes through all these bananas in 1-2 days. It was a pretty impressive display if I do say so myself!

On the way home.

Walking around had me all hot under my multiple sweaters and people kept looking at me like I was crazy because of my black hoodie (scare from the shooting) so I decided to go home! I’ve been in lots of places where I see PATH. So now I have another mission! Find out what PATH is all about!

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

But could I get away from the advertising at Queen Station? NO!!!

Um.... one of the banks?

I discovered that PATH is a series of underground walkways in downtown Toronto that can get you from one place to another! Go figure! I’mma have to try it next time and see what it’s like!

I travelled from Queen Station to King Station and at the last minute decided to get up and walk back to my apartment. More cardio could never hurt. I found myself in the heart of the Financial district looking at the tall buildings that represent the major financial institutions in Canada.

Top Left anti-clockwise: Scotia Bank, RBC, Something blah, CIBC.

It was kinda empty and spooky. But a little further down…

Kit Kat Restaurant

The butt of a cow coming out of the building and the rest of it’s body stuck above it! It’s like a weird episode of Cow Stargate… sorta… I thought KitKat was a chocolate bar, BUT apparently it’s a cow, stuck between worlds while it watches it’s kin being eaten inside!!!

Fred who?

My BFF and I are planning to go here and ask for Fred.

In other news...

Mr. Tomato and Ms. Mushroom are planning to adopt children from Broccolia, which may prove to be a challenge because they are not officially married. However, vegetable adoptions have become an accessory in Greeneronia and all the famous veggies are out to procure one for themselves promising a short life on the shelf and a quick pass through humanoid gastric systems.

Rogers Center

My walk came to an end close to the Rogers Center where these human figures peek out to greet visitors to the center. The lady with the fake boobs ought to pass the card of her plastic surgeon to the guy with the belly hanging over the ledge! Damn!

Tired, but not exhausted and still miffed at the muppet with the bad jeans in front of the store whose name I can’t remember, my journey through Toronto had ended for today and I was glad to be out of the cold.

(Should have told her to go shove it!)

I wonder how painful getting shot is.

Ripped from National Post

Apparently some teenagers got into an argument and the one whose Mama didn’t take time helping him express himself sufficiently, lost his temper and shot the one who had a point in the stomach. I’m not trained in human psychology and have spent as little time as I could muster figuring out sociology. But the progression of events from conversation to disagreement to heated argument possibly followed by abuse, should not lead to murder. Or should it? In which case I think there are a couple of people I need to murder.

I wasn’t fortunate enough to be close enough to the skuttle however I ended up being 30 minutes late for a very important appointment with my agent! Lots of other people were stranded making getting on the trains a battle that only the skinny and/or fit could win.

These kinds of situations bring out the absolute worst in people. The elderly get jostled by the young who refuse to give up their seats and offer it to someone who is frail. One old lady got her walking stick caught between the train and the platform and no one offered to help her get it out. They just watched her struggle with it and one lady was kind enough to talk to the train operators to wait so the elderly lady could get her stick out.

The contents of someone’s backpack spilled to the floor because the people beside him would not tell him his bag was open. They watched him as he struggled to gather his belongings from the floor of the train and people bumped against him almost causing him to fall over while they rushed in and out of the train.

I want reparations!!!

Osgoode Subway Station (copyright www.twisia.com)

I want payment for the inconvenience of having to take a different and longer route to the important meeting with my agent.

I’m sure the old woman wouldn’t mind having someone pay for the anxiety she experienced in suddenly finding her expensive walking cane trapped between the train and the platform.

How about something for the young man who was humiliated on the train?

But alas, we’re going to get NOTHING. Instead the tax money being withdrawn from our paychecks is going to go into paying for this hooligan’s defence in a court of law. His idleness compounded by his empty head has inconvenienced the whole city and his father should be made to pay. If he ends up with however many years for attempted murder, his father should get 1/2 of that.

IDIOTS!

——————————

On a side note, I went to SHARON’S, which is a jewelry and fashion store located at 690 Younge Street. In October, I visited this store and ended up purchasing a pair of pretty earrings.

Cute earrings...

At that time I signed up to be on their mailing list (which they haven’t taken advantage of) and the deal was that I could go on my birthday and get a free pair of earrings! So I went in yesterday and true to their word, I got a pair of earrings!!!

Much of their stuff doesn’t really suit me, but I think I’m falling in love with my earrings.

First pair on my ear.

New Birthday pair!

Aren’t they kayuuuuuuuuute?

Information on Sharon’s:

690 Yonge Street
Toronto, ON M4Y 2A6
(416) 928-9286

Today is my birthday!!! I baked a cake. But ate it all before today so I’m going to have to bake another one.

Double chocolate cake with vanilla flavored icing and trimming crumbs on top!

Wigs in general look like something the cat dragged under the sofa, played with, slept in and then discarded in its litter box! But this week, under pressure from my landlord and various bills piling up, I decided it was probably time to mend my hobo ways and find a better paying job!

So I donned my dead creature…

When you beat it use one of those foamy rubber floaters so you don't injure my head!

And ventured out into the way-below-zero temperature to hunt for the elusive job.

Markham, Ontario was my first destination. I got on the street car, hopped on the subway (yes I hopped! Can ya dig it?) and dozed off for most of the way to my destination. The North-South section of the subway transit system is in a U shape, with the bottom of the U at Union Station (they swear they didn’t plan this) and it’s right at Lake Ontario. From the north west at Downsview (where I got the dead animal on my head) to Finch Station in the north east (where my interiew was) the journey would take close to two hours. There are various stops within the city that make the journey interesting and a lot of the stations have very unique tiles which make them interesting to see.

In Markham they have their own transit company that charges  you all your gold jewelry for a trip  one way with a 2 hour transfer pass. I parted with my dowry and rode the Number 2 Bus to my destination. In Toronto (or Tronoh depending on who you are) the street cars, buses and trains are equipped with GPS systems that announce in a very calming and friendly feminine voice, which station/stop is coming up next. The bus driver in Markham must have had his jaws clamped shut by his dentist – and hopefully his dietician – because he grunted the stops. At first I couldn’t make out what the sounds were and it was all very confusing, but when I went to the front to ask him about my stop I heard the grunting noise and understood it’s source.

Which number?

In my excursions in the areas around Toronto I have found that many warehouse structures  were converted to office spaces and many people have their offices in those kinds of places. They’re usually located about 1/4 of a mile from the main street and are sprawling structures with no particular order used to number the spaces. Sometimes  Unit 17 is right up front and other times you have to walk all the way to the back, around the tucks and over the snow mounds to find what you’re looking for. I’ve found them in Scarborough, North York and now Markham. I hate these structures on principle. What? I’m an Architect (of sorts).

Snow hill blocking the view.

Just when my fingers had delivered their ultimatum – warmth or death – I found the office I needed to get to and rushed inside. The interview was a disaster, mainly because the interviewer had already decided she didn’t want me and sent me on my way within 5 minutes after speaking to her. Sigh. Ah well, there wasn’t enough oestrogen there anyway.

Back out into the cold it was for me, where I froze my ass off, used my transfer (didn’t have to turn in my tiara!) and got back to Finch Station and Rode all the way to the other side of town for a second interview.

How low can you go?

2 hours, a bumpy bus ride with a jamaican bus driver who sounded like the shrunken heads in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, a 3 block trek through snow falling from the sky and mush squishing underneath… and I found myself sitting infront of an overdressed little man with too much gel in his hair and a HUGE faded used-to-be-gold ring dangling from his ear. Why do they do this to me?! ~~snicker~~ I was cold and tired and Unit 17 wasn’t where it should have been with those crazy warehouse buildings! So I answered his questions with so much less enthusiasm than I should have, but I’m not sure how passionate I should get about dispatch. Ah well! We’ll see!

I’m not sure if el wigo impressed anyone. The hairs just kept flying into my eyes! I could feel them bothering my forhead way into the night. I’m not sure how the caucasian sisters do it and I applaud them coz as soon as I got home that thing was OFF! I freed my tresses – such as they are -  and kept el wigo in a plastic bag where he will live till I need him again. Ugh. Yuck.

Breathe the free air again my friend!

I thought I’d go on an adventure to ChinaTown Centre at Spadina and Dundas. There is a screen on the wall outside, broadcasting CCTV news mimicking the attractive screens a couple of blocks east at Dundas and Younge.

So I thought, what the heck, I’ve done Laredo, I can do China town.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (loud buzzing sound)

WRONG!

First of all I get deceived by the brilliant sunshine outside. So I’m thinking… two layers will be appropriate.

Beautiful sky! Don't be deceived!!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (loud buzzing sound)

WRONG!

Other people are walking around, in fact the streets are filled with people wearing all manner of clothing and yet here I was, walking in the freezing wind, each individual fat cell coagulating in my thighs making my skin hurt.

One of the blah streets in between King and Front.

Before I got to Queen Street (Bremner, Front, Blah, King, Richmond, Blah, Queen… going North on Spadina) I determined that my body needed a little break so I snuck into this art store. The attendants were haughty and even though I saw a pretty spectacular display of paints on sale I thought hack-thpuuu I know I have only pennies, BUTCHA AIN’T GETTING THEM!

Cussing them under my breath and putting a hex on the store, and because the fat cells had melted, I ventured out into the freezing cold once more. Looking up I could see the side of the screen against the Chinatown Center and focusing my gaze on it and the wonderful warmth I’d find inside, I forced my legs to move and almost ran all the way there!!!

Chinatown Center… aaaaaaaaahhhh what an experience! There truly doesn’t seem to be a way to describe it but I will attempt to.

The first word that comes to mind when you enter is deception. Even though the screen outside beckons, quietly urging you inside, the promise of all kinds of cheap goods inside, the experience is quite different.

Right at the entrance to the interior is a short woman who GLARES at you while she arranges her flower pots very close to the door. There is about 1.5 feet between her orchids and the front door, and you have to do the 1,2-step in order to avoid them! all over the floor are tables of people selling THE SAME SHIT. Red hangy thingies with red tassels on them and fake jewelery winking deceptively at you. A smell you can’t really place slowly becomes over whelming and you suddenly realize you’re Gulliver in Liliput, except the little people are all asian and they’re looking at you hatefully.

So I walked around all nonchalant pretending I really had business in there of course I didn’t touch their shit and walked around, stepped on a flower and then left. All in all I must have spent 4 minutes in there gathering all the disdain I felt and showing it in my eyes for everyone who looked at me with hate.

The cold air hit me with a thousand little freeze arrows when I stepped outside. It was so cold and I was feeling slightly tired which fueled the decision to ride the street car that took FOREVER to get to the stop. Finally when it got there, this little chinese man PUSHED me aside to run into the street car then took 1,212 years paying his fare.

On the way back to my warm humble abode I remembered I needed some vanilla for my oh so awesome birthday cake! I’d seen a grocery store called Fresh and Wild Grocery store at the intersection of Spadina Ave. and King St. So I hopped off the street car and rushed into the store, whose beautiful displays of fresh produce seduced your mind with promises of juicy sweetness.  It seemed to be a small grocery store, which it was, but the organization was pretty convoluted with hallways as complex as the path of small intestines. All sorts of nooks and crannies were used to set up the space and the owner walked around in a white shirt, following me, making sure I did’t pocket anything. $2.99 later and vanilla in hand I decided to wait for the street car again.

The building in which I live was just one more block south so I thought I should brave it and run home, but on the way I was struck by a number of things:-

Montage-cicles

1. If you see ice coming out of a building that is being constructed and it’s left to stay ice for a while, what do you think it means for the structural integrity of the glass facade and the concrete floors?

WATCH OUT! Alien plastic bag landing...

2. What do you call it when a nasty plastic bag comes off of a building you’re constructing, flies through the air and lands on your presentation building sullying it up?

Houston? We have a problem in Toronto.

Well, I’m home now. Fat is all thawed and body is all warm and a super chocolately smelling cake is baking in my oven.

Would you like a piece?

New stuff always energizes me. Not in a materialistic sense though. Over the years I have given up making resolutions for the new year because even though I may be gung-ho about a particular idea, the excitement over whatever I’m planning to start fizzes out really quickly,  hence my numerous art projects laying all over my beautiful apartment.

I’m back to learning more about my city and took a walk through the Entertainment District and the Fashion District. If you follow the links there is lots of information about the stores, restaurants and theatres that are in there just waiting to be discovered!

These limo drivers must be COLD

It was definitely a cold day today with the fake sun rising in the east and then disappearing soon after noon because it was lying to us anyway. The limo drivers who park here in the morning (probably driving some fat cat condo executives) were puffing furiously at their cigarettes trying to find warmth. With their clothes and cars though, they’d be better suited to finding some classical music to driver their cars in concert to in the parking lot. Poor guys.

Le what?!

There is this weird intersection close to my place that has the weirdest crossing policy. In order to get to the buildings across the street I have to first cross north then east then south. I can’t just cross east. Being the dorky engineer that I am I stood for one cycle of the lights and watched the traffic to attempt to understand this mysterious policy. My mind told me that there must be some traffic flow that I’m not accounting for that makes this unreasonable crossing policy work. However, when the little white man made his appearance on the North side of the crossing, no traffic was moving except that in the east west direction making it possible for people to cross on the North side AND the South side…. maybe I need to look again.

Fake plant/wall thing

I am of the opinion that if you are building something that requires the purchase of lots of plastic greenery for a wall, you probably don’t need it. Especially if you are a “green” company.

Are those undies?

Right across from the green wall was this blue building with a balcony that, no doubt, hosts a multitude of people when the weather is nice. So you can imagine that with temperatures below freezing, they’re not really making big bucks. What was interesting was seeing all the rugs, or undies or whatever hanging from the balistrade of the balcony. I’m sure we’re all going to applaud them in the summer for saving energy, but in the winter undies cannot dry outside!

May I taste your ware?

Watch out now...

My days escapades didn’t take me far into the fashion district and I believe I barely saw what needed to be seen, BUT I believe it needed to be mentioned.

W T F?!

My day was over and my journey home had begun. As I waited for the street car I saw this banner. WTF?

Happy New Year T Dot!

Proud to be a Canadian?

It’s snowing outside.

Shouldn’t be a surprise since this is the Great White North, or at least the beginning of it. So we will have a white Christmas.

Seems like a great place to put a nest if the snow doesn't get to it first!

The night before last I had dinner with a group of friends and enjoyed it immensely.

I’m a pretty good story teller (need to figure out how to make money from that) and found an audience in a very attentive, very astute 6 year old girl, who thought my first story was strange. It’s difficult to tell the story of Rapunzel  with any kind of excitement, especially when you have no pictures.

When I was done, a request came in for another story. I should have tested out a story I’m working on ~ but then again, it’s not really a child’s story. And I want to be invited to dinner again (if you’re reading this D & I) so I’m going to have to revise it!

Well, the year is almost over and I’ll probably not be able to be back till the new year when I’m closer to the city and there will be more pictures! So for now Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!